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[nijlandp-sama]

nice one, Yaya . I liked the story. The hidden sadness is very well written throughout the story. A nice ending with new hope at the horizon. Good story.

[ImTakes-sama]

June 4th, 2010 will be one month since my father's death...

~In All Things...Time~
I strolled up the low hill.
My eyes downcast
towards the ground.
I saw
and yet
did not see.
I was full
and yet
empty.
I felt so many things
so many emotions
and yet
a cold wind
swept and swirled
deep
in me.
I feel his warmth
his hope
his life.
I look up
and there he is
bright
shiny
full.
The Sun.
The Wind
comes
soft
with ease
with longing.
I see the trees
they dance.
The flowers
they prance.
I hear the song of heaven
in the songs of
His smallest creatures.
The birds.
I pause now
as I reach my destination.
I am stalled in time
in memory
in pain
in tears
in love
in hope
in acceptance.
No fear
no regret
no anger.
Only peace
only rest
only quiet.
The grass is low
emerald green.
Flowers
everywhere.
Bright colored faces
towards the Sun.
I sigh
I smile
I weep.
I have come
to gaze
to ponder
to think.
"Hi dad."
Sweet silence.
I see him smile.
He is content
at peace.
"Daddy, I love you
I miss you.
I see you
always
in everything
everywhere
I go."
He is sleeping
deep in the earth.
It is dark
yet cool
yet quiet.
It is as he wanted.
But he is awake.
He lives in light eternal.
He sees what no man can see.
God...
Merciful
Loving
Just.
"Dad, pray for us
speak a word for us
hope for us."
I sit now
in silence.
So many thoughts
so much to say.
Grateful
to God
for this wonderful
day~~
I can picture my time alone, when I begin to venture forth to visit my father's grave site...I have not yet gone, but I will. I will do as we always did, in life, we sat together, in silence...one present to the other.
Death is not the end...only the beginning...
Written Monday, May 17, 2010 at 9:21am

[Noshi-sama]

It's beautiful Yaya, so emotional, bright vivid, I'm moved.

[Emi-chan!]

You know, I really admire your work Yaya, I have to admit this brought on a few tears...
I can relate a bit, having lost a family member recently this year. I wish I was able to express as beautifully.

[nijlandp-sama]

Very beautiful indeed. The reflection of emotion while in turmoil sure comes through.

[ImTakes-sama]

@ Noshi, Emi-chan and nijlandp...Thanks much, to all of you, for your kind words...
I am still writing about my father's death, but just posting all of my work in a more personal manner. Not sure if I will add anything else here unless, it is a fun one...but then again, maybe not. I have found that writing more these days has served as a reflection of sorts...

[nijlandp-sama]

I can understand. Some things are too personal or a reflection as you mentioned and should be for yourself. Sometimes you need something to look back at and write about it for your own personal feelings.

[Neriko-san]

Merry blue eyes that would
Laugh and cry
Are broken windows.
And no longer do I hear
The thoughts that
So often brought me mirth
For those blanched lips
Are still.

Too soon I see a face
Far to familiar
Disappear.

A blank mask
White from death
Is all thats left.

[ImTakes-sama]

In honor of a furry friend who dwells in the Earth...he is quite celebrated come February 2nd of every year...rightly so, I might add.

Woodchuck~~
Shy, shy, Groundhog, can you come out to play?
No, way, too much snow and rain and ice today.
Groundy, Groundy, how long a winter will this be?
December, January fini, Feb and March, let’s see…
Will we ever have sun and buds and flowers?
First must come cold drenching April showers.
Groundhog, Groundhog, we are so weary…
Yes, salting and shovel, heavy and dreary.
Groundhog, Groundhog, how spend you your time?
Cozy in tunnel, snooze and sleep, earning no dime.
Groundy, Groundy, how pay you your taxes?
That, my friend, is for honest Jills and Jackses.

The poem is courtesy of a fellow commentator from National Review Online...that being, gks 02/02/11 16:03.

[lavenderdays-dono]

Warning Very Long

Existing and Not existing. Why must to contradictory Ideas exist?

If Nothing Existed then what was that void then? By Having No light, the shadow was not any different from any of the shadows... because of this something had to exit, there had to be light.

-Light and Darkness

Thus Light and darkness, a contradictory existence but they complemented each other very well giving meaning to both sides. Yet something was still missing.

It was devoid and empty. Another contradiction to their existence. If there was light and darkness how was the two any different if both of them had no observers... simply put it was all still all for naught.

-Perfect and Imperfect

Thus both light and darkness gave birth to a single point in time and space perfect and symmetrical. But it was too perfect that it was still useless thus with a slight imperfection it forced upon it self something was born...

It couldn't be described what was born or what was it... but think of that point that perfect something just broke, and shattered like crystals in an empty void that had both light and darkness. Then they swirled around to meld into a beautiful scenery of crystals floating endlessly amidst the void but soon after amidst the distance those crystals seemed to be dissapearing until one was all that was left... frail but it survived. As those countless "Universes" didn't garner the "perfect" shape to form and to be able to sustain themselves.

All but one survived. It had the perfect ratio to allow things to exist. It had light and darkness. It was both Perfect in a way and Imperfect and it still had room for something else  and within that universe countless things formed that came and go, with light and darkness, with perfection and imperfections. Until again another world appeared small and frail just like its "outer shell".

-Chance and Certainty

Still the original objective was to create an observer but all what happened was just creating layers upon layers. It was all still useless. It was just a mindless loop of creating this and that. Until By "Chance and Certainty" something was born again. Unique to the so-called "Layers" as for one this was unique. It had the capacity to gave "self-realization" or to know that it was here and there. One could describe it as "life", a new element it seems....



(There is still a continuation but mind block... )

>This is basically a concept of mine I thought of, more or less it is a background for my story which someday I may plan to work on maybe turning into a manga? or a game?. Through years I shaped up this concept.

This was inspired from countless mediums. Games and Novels and the likes.

Warning Sort of Long Again...

This is sort of a story of creation. You can coincide it with the physics' explanation of the creation too. As my so called planned game garners that there is No God (Although there will be one). It's really complicated since I layered it after one concept after another. Even I myself cannot understand it fully.

It is also an explanation on the layers of existence kinda like how a table is standing on the ground. On the Table there is a plate and How is it there. On the Plate there is a cookie. But how do you know it is There without someone knowing. Thus humans come into play. Unique to the table and etc. Humans were boundless as they had another world within themselves which was the world of thoughts Unlimited and uncontrolled it followed no contradictory elements which was required for something to exist in the whole "entirety". But it had a catch, a contradictory element to prevent this unfair world. It was only bound to basically "fiction" if you get what Im saying. Somehow humans were to able to find a loopholewhich created the meta world which changed everything even further and created a meta-world the ruler of the layers of existence of something like that.

To be honest this is just a scrap idea but nevertheless one of my starting point. Its really complicated in my head, IT has So MANY LAYERS its So damn confusing. I just had to post it for some reason like something possessed me out of randomness.

[senpai-kun-nakama]

I recall another member said their goodbyes in this place. A place that long ago was actually a really active thread full of creative thoughts and good memories. So I'll play the role of copycat (nyan xD) and leave my final words here as well. Basically it's about the last few years of my life. I wrote it about thirty minutes ago when I was in retrospect-mode. I used to do titles back in the day so hmm let's see... alright seems fitting enough.

THE REAL ME HAS BROKEN FREE

I fell so deep, into a pitch black dream.
When I awoke it basically cycled eat, shit, sleep, and repeat.
No days felt real, swig of water, first, second, and third pill.
The pain of being dead on the inside gradually pushing outside,
The displeasure was overbearing and became impossible to hide.
Look directly into the eyes of this unrecognizable face,
Everything's distorted out of place inside an empty space.
Does any of this sound familiar?
That's so rhetorical like asking if two sides of a coin are similar.

I want to break free from these endless days of days that never end,
Weary of putting on my mask, befriend, and pretend.
I'm no longer who I want to be; I'm talking to myself,
If I can than why can't you see.
If only it was just a simple matter of being lazy,
With a future in standstill, apathy turned to insanity, I'm going crazy.

But somewhere in a fit when I was raging,
I heard HIS voice and it kept repeating what it was saying.
What can be gained from everything you've lost?
With faith lies infinite possibilities yet to be found.
Rebuke the demons of despair that chain you down.

Wake up from the pitch black dream,
The world can trick you it's not what it seems.
Keep pushing past the shades of grey,
No traveling back in time just seize this day.
As long as I've got breath then I've got hope,
That's what the VOICE spoke.

I've been fed lies,
I've been deceived by beautiful eyes.
For three whole years I've had one hell of a case of writer's bloc,
Now I found the key, re-awake, and unlock.

All my dreams, my goals, the words had been buried deep within my soul,
I've only lived half a life this second half will make me whole.

I've got a case of writer's bloc again,
But I said what I needed to say,
Maybe I'll see you'll again one day,
Until then the pleasure was all mine, Ja ne!

[lavenderdays-dono]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B2sqzTkB48...ture=plpp_video
Oh what time is it?
Tick Tock Tick Tock such a night.
I had not noticed the Fickle moment.
Cleaning such a tedious Commitment.

But what is this?
My Eyes draw me to a another chore.
But Oh no~ I cried out.
Not another Bore!!

Sigh, I lamented.
But no matter I Consented.
The surrounding was well lit.
For the Chore I had to Commit.

I needed everything to be Bright.
Red.

So says the Maid with the Pocket Watch of Blood.